Tekken Calibur: The Switch
by SoulCaliburess
Summary: Heihachi decides to host a Tekken and Soul Calibur Expo under the name of the 'Tekken Calibur Clash Tournament', but will things go according to plan? Comedy fanfic; rated T for language! I will continue the story if people like it! R&R please!
1. The TSC Expo

_A/N: Hiya, it's me! I'm here with a new approach to writing... comedy! Cut me a bit of slack though, I don't usually write comedy fanfics, this was just a random idea that exploded in my head, quite literally. However on the rare occasion that you do like my story, review and let me know! It would be nice if I had support! Anyways... it gets funnier as you read, so bear with it! Disclaimer: I don't own Tekken or Soul Calibur. They are both owned by Namco, who are clearly the gods of gaming. I bow down to you..._

Chapter 1: The TSC Expo

[Heihachi wakes up bright and early. He shakes his head quite vigorously, and grinned.]

Heihachi: I had such a weird dream, but it gave me an idea to earn more money. Hehehehehehe MUWAHAHAHA. (laughs sinisterly for about ten minutes) *ahem* Sorry.

*Five hours later…*

[The Tekken cast were gathered in a small theatre like studio, sitting in rows, waiting, whilst pondering about why Heihachi called them here in the first place.]

Steve: (slouches in his chair) Why the hell did Heihachi call us here?

Paul: I hope it's an excuse to beat someone up. (pounds his fist)

Julia: (in a dreamy state) I could be watering my plants now…

[A sudden slam of a door was heard, and the whole cast gasped. Kazuya was stood at the door]

Nina: (whilst folding her arms) What are you doing here? I thought you practically hate Heihachi.

Kazuya: I got an invitation. (waves pink frilly letter in the air) I assumed it's an invitation for me to kill him.

Nina: (shrugs) Fair enough.

[Noticing his entrance, Lili rises from her seat, and skips over to Kazuya and snatches the letter out of his hand. She clutched the pink paper from her fingertips, with her little fingers pointing outwards. She smirked.]

Lili: *ahem* Dear Kazuya, my beautiful son…

Kazuya: Oi! Give it here, you spoilt little midget! (attempts to grab the letter)

Lili: If you haven't noticed, Mr Mishima… I'm taller than you. Harharhar! (laughs in her posh tone)

Hwoarang: Oi, ur…Rochefort! Give it here!

[Giving up, Kazuya slumps himself in the seat next to Nina. Lili casually struts towards Hwoarang, who had his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.]

Lili: The name's LILI.

Hwoarang: What sort of name is Lee-Lee?

Lee: (looks up, suddenly interested) Did someone say my absolutely EXCELLENT name? (grins like he is on a toothpaste advert and sticks his thumb up.) Twice?

Law: Ugh, you really need a new catchphrase.

Lee: (sticks his middle finger up too)

Lili: What sort of name is Hwo… Hwoa… Look, nobody can even pronounce your name! (hands the letter to him and walks off, back to her seat)

[A high pitched, female voice was heard babbling from the entrance of the building, which was half a mile away. In burst Xiaoyu, talking constantly as if she didn't need her lungs.]

Xiaoyu: (extremely fast) So-like-anyways-I-was-talking-to-Miharu-the-other-day-and-she-was-like-Xiao-you-need-to-ask-him-out-and-I-was-like-what-would-he-say-and-she-was-like-just-try-woman-because-you-are-only-going-to-end-up-killing-Panda-in-your-sleep-one-day…

[An approving growl which seemed to agree with her last phrase was heard faintly behind Xiaoyu's babbling. A very quiet sigh was heard too by the rest of the Tekken cast, as they trained themselves to ignore Xiaoyu's waffling.]

Xiaoyu: Awh, Jiiiiinnnnnn…. C'mon!

[Xiaoyu tried to drag a red gloved hand out of the corridors and into the theatre, but he wouldn't budge. Another growl was heard, and then seconds later a baffled Jin came flying into the studio, due to Panda's convenient barging skills, which she practiced on limousines from time to time]

[The cast gasped again as Jin stood up, holding his head]

Hwoarang: (gasps) Kazama!

Jin: What is your problem?

Nina: (rolls eyes) Lemme guess- you got a pink, frilly invitation too.

Jin: (flicks his trousers flat and stands straight) Yes, as a matter of fact, I did.

Hwoarang: Ahem? Trying to make a scene here? (Nina groans and looks away, whilst Hwoarang gasps again) Kazama!

Jin & Asuka: What?

Hwoarang: (turns to Asuka) Not you, you Jun wannabe!

Asuka: (gasps) You take that back, you… you… Bob wannabe!

[Bob's eyes widened from the very far corner of the theatre, his mouth stuffed with so much popcorn that he looked like a chipmunk]

Bob: (spraying chunks of popcorn) YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Asuka: Oh, shut it, you're the only character which Namco didn't give an epic name.

Bob: (crossing his arms defiantly) Bob is just as epic as Kazuya.

Kazuya: (bluntly) No. Just… no.

[Bob starts crying loudly, spluttering tears and popcorn across the rows in front of him. Luckily, he was sat nowhere near the rest of the Tekken cast]

[A sudden screech of a microphone was heard, causing everyone to wince. Heihachi's was heard.]

Heihachi: Shut up you little brats! You, fatty, with the popcorn! Stop spraying slobber over my theatre! And you! The emo looking git I-should-be-calling-my-grandson-but-I-won't! Sit down! And you! Motorbike boy with the bad hair dye! Stop making a scene!

Hwoarang: (standing up and raising his arms) And why shouldn't I? Huh?

Heihachi: (screaming) Because that is MY JOB! Now shut the hell up and sit down!

[Sulkily, Hwoarang sunk into his seat, followed by Jin practically on the other side of the theatre, next to Xiaoyu and Panda, who were more than pleased he made that decision. The theatre fell silent.]

Heihachi: Thank you. Now I have gathered you here to tell you about the Expo which will be running alongside the Soul Calibur cast, (the theatre started to buzz with excitement) called the Tekken Calibur Expo. Or, as I like to call it, the Tekken Calibur Clash Tournament!

[The theatre began to cheer and applaud, even Jin and Kazuya joined in. Julia stuck her hand in the air like a student in class]

Heihachi: (noticing Julia) Whaddaya want?

Julia: Will we have to fight alongside them? Or against them?

Heihachi: Not for the moment, no. You will be paired up, and you will get to know each other. (Steve, Paul and Hwoarang started to smirk uncontrollably. Heihachi ignored them) Then I will announce the special event.

Asuka: Will we know who we will be paired with?

Heihachi: I was thinking of telling you now, before. But because I'm mischievous when it comes to hosting events, I will arrange you to meet them in a certain place. So all of you, line up, and I'll give you each a map of the convention hall. It is made for each of you, so no swapping!

[The Tekken cast all lined up waiting for their maps of the hall.]

Heihachi: The Expo starts in an hour. So do whatever the hell you lot do!

[The Tekken cast leave the theatre and disperse for lunch. They all sit on different tables in the cafeteria.]

Jin: (looking at his map) It seems that I need to meet my partner in the 'Hall of the Warrior God' section. How can there even be a hall inside of a hall?

Xiaoyu: (shrugs, but then smiles broadly) Looks like I'm coming with you Jin! (squeals whilst waving her map about)

Jin: (snatches her map of her, glances at the page, and then slowly slams his head onto the table.) Yay.

[Asuka approaches them with a sandwich package in one hand and her map in the other]

Asuka: Hi. Where do you two need to go? (sits on a chair in-between Jin and Xiaoyu)

Xiaoyu: We need to go to the Hall of the Warrior God section together…

Jin: (interrupting) Where do you need to go, Asuka?

Asuka: (Observing her map then reading it off the paper with some difficulty) … um… a villa section.

Xiaoyu: (leaning over to look at her map) Wow! Apparently, that's the nicest place to go.

Asuka: (chuckles) I'm better off than I thought.

[Leo shyly walks over to their table, with a map neatly folded up.]

Leo: Hello. May I sit with you?

Xiaoyu: (before anyone could protest) Sure, Leo!

Asuka: Sorry, Leo, this has been REALLY bugging me since the King of Iron Fist Tournament 6.

Leo: (smiling) Yes?

Asuka: What are you? (Leo's eyes widened with confusion)

Xiaoyu: Asuka! Why are you being so rude?

Leo: (feeling somewhat guilty) No, its ok, I've had lots of fighters ask me. My full name is Eleanora Kliesen.

[Everyone in the canteen happened to hear that very sentence, causing their jaws to drop.]

Jin: You're… a girl…?

Leo: (uncertainly) Yeah…?

Hwoarang: (from the other side of the canteen, quite loudly) Ugh, thank god…

[Everyone jolted their heads in Hwoarang's direction, who stared at them all in disgust]

Hwoarang: (shouting in a pissed off way) What?

[Everyone continued their normal business, whilst Jin, Xiaoyu, Asuka and Leo finished off the conversation]

Asuka: But if you are a girl, why do you dress like a boy, and cut your hair as short as a boy? (now boasting about her own style) I mean, there is a difference between sporty and basic menswear…

Xiaoyu: (gasps again) Asuka!

Jin: What my dear cousin is trying to say is… are you homosexual?

Xiaoyu: (gasps yet again) Jin!

Leo: (sighing with gratitude towards Xiaoyu) It's fine Xiaoyu, don't worry. (to Asuka) Yes, I'm tomboyish; I don't like to wear girlish stuff. (to Jin) And in answer to your question, Jin, I'm bisexual, but should that matter? Is that how you should judge people?

Jin & Asuka: …

Leo: No? THEN SHUT YOUR EFFING GOBS! (stomps off out of the canteen, spilling a flurry of tears)

[Jin, Asuka and Xiaoyu blankly stare at the door which Leo had just stomped out off]

Asuka: Well… somebody has issues.

[Meanwhile, over on the other side of the café, Paul, Steve, Hwoarang, Law, Julia, Christie and Eddy were discussing about their plans.]

Christie: I need to go some exotic garden section. What about you lot? (leans back casually on her chair)

Law: It says here I need to go to the Indian Port section.

Julia: I have to go to the Halcyon Harbour section. Are all of the sections sea-related?

Hwoarang: (groans) Me too.

Julia: (frowning) Why, don't you want to come with me?

Hwoarang: Meh, I suppose it's better than some people. (rolls eyes towards Jin's direction)

Paul: (looks at his map blankly, but then his expression creases into a worried one.) Oh god.

Law: (slightly curious) What? What's happening?

Paul: (in a distressed tone) I'm going to some girly sounding villa.

[The whole table laughs at Paul who hid himself behind his map]

Paul: (on the verge of tears) It's not funny!

Christie: (rolls her eyes and looks at Eddy) What about you, Eddy?

Eddy: (squinting his eyes, trying to read the tiny font squished into his section) Somewhere with a really long name. And sea-related.

Steve: (sniggers to himself) I have the best one!

Hwoarang: (frowns) Where is it?

Steve: I'm not telling you! You would want to swap with me.

Hwoarang: (grumbles) Fine.

[Meanwhile, Kazuya, Lars, Lee, Alisa, Raven, Lili, Nina and Anna are discussing their maps. What a coincidence.]

Lili: Ooh! I'm going to a castle. (jumps up and down in her seat)

Kazuya & Lars: (spit take!) What?

Kazuya: Let me see that! (grabs Lili's map and compares it with his)

Nina: What are you even doing on this table, Lili, with all the cool adults? (Alisa smiles at her) …And Alisa.

Lili: (in a snobby tone) This is the upper class table.

Nina: (shrugs) Fair enough.

Lars: The castle is split into four sections: the throne room, the moat, the tower and the hall. Kazuya is going to the tower, Lili: to the throne room. I am going to the hall.

Lee: (smiling in his 'smooth' manner) I'm also going to the throne room. I have the honour of escorting young Miss Rochefort.

Lili: (grimaces) Great.

Anna: (interrupting the few seconds' silence) I'm going to a fancy sounding tower.

Nina: And I'm going to somewhere underground. All the better to get away from you. (smirks)

Kazuya: (strokes his chin thoughtfully) I suppose they put you in completely different sections so you don't try to kill each other during the convention.

Lars: Good point. Where are you going, Alisa?

Alisa: (analysing her map) According to my source, I must transport myself to the sector which consists of a small settlement with a medium gale force.

Lars: Ah, I see. And you, Raven?

Raven: Classified.

Nina: It's the clock tower, isn't it.

Raven: Goddammit. Why do you have to ruin my mysteriousness?

Nina: (shrugs) Because I'm bored?

Raven: (shrugs too) Fair enough.

*30 minutes later*

[The Tekken cast gather inside of the hall. The hall was vast, and was dotted with many different door frames, without doors, and a touch pad next to each of them. Heihachi talks to them over a speaker]

Heihachi: Now listen up. The Tekken Calibur Expo will be held here, but you must bring the Soul Calibur characters back here. You each have a portal to a specific part of the world: to find out where you are going, click Information of the touchpad. To enter the portal, click Enter. Its quite self explanatory. The Soul Calibur cast will introduce you. I shall join you shortly and explain what is happening. GO!

Xiaoyu: (looking around the room, then pointing straight down the hall) Ours is nine doors down! C'mon Jin!

Jin: (whilst looking up at the ceiling) Kill. Me. Now.

[Xiaoyu and Jin reach a door frame with golden dragons carved into it, and a matching touchpad. Xiaoyu examines the touchpad. Meanwhile, Steve, Christie, Alisa, Raven, Marduk, Zafina, Leo, Yoshimistu, Nina, Anna, Eddy and Law enter their portals simultaneously.]

Xiaoyu: 'Information' or 'Enter'. Which one?

Jin: Go for Information. I want to know where we are going.

[Xiaoyu presses Information and floating text appeared where the door should go. Xiaoyu begins to read it out.]

Xiaoyu: Hall of the Warrior God: Built in the late 15th century, it was originally a Chinese temple, but is now converted into a training ground. Warriors train here every so often, the dragons being symbolic of strength and will.

Jin: (nods his head slowly) Ok, let's go then.

[Xiaoyu enters the portal first, followed by Jin. Julia and Hwoarang stood outside of their portal, which was engraved with words.]

Hwoarang: (whilst trying to read the words on the door frame) Read the information.

Julia: (after clicking Information) Halcyon Harbour: an abandoned shipwreck just off the coast of Korea, Halcyon Harbour was originally a ship which was washed up after a tsunami. (to Hwoarang) Don't you come from Korea?

Hwoarang: Yeah, I do. The words on the frame are in our language. It says: "Scarlet Thunder ~ White Storm".

Julia: Well there's no point in pondering over it. Let's go.

[Paul and Asuka stood outside of their doorway, which was dark pink, and formed to look like a Japanese archway. Tiny cherry blossom flowers were carved delicately into it. Paul winced at the sight of it.]

Asuka: Oh, for eff's sake Paul. (Asuka shoves Paul into the portal, and marches inside herself)

[Meanwhile, Lili, Lars, Lee and Kazuya stood outside of their portal, still reading their information.]

Lili: (trying to read yet another unpronounceable name) Ost… argh, darnit, how do you say this?

Lars: (observing the text in their stone doorway) It's pronounced OST-RHEINS-BURG. Exactly how it's spelt! I don't know why people can't pronounce it.

Kazuya: (rolls eyes) We're not all German.

Lars: I'm Swedish!

Lee: (losing his patience for the last time) Oh, screw the bloody information. Let's just go!

Kazuya: I'm with Chaolan on this one.

[Lee and Kazuya both walk through the doorway, vanishing in the portal. Lili and Lars soon followed]

_A/N: So, who will be paired together? Would it be the obvious... or not so obvious? Find out in Chapter 2! (It gets better, trust me...)_


	2. The Gathering

_A/N: I do not own Tekken or Soul Calibur. Raven: Goddammit._

Chapter 2: The Gathering

[Alisa arrived in a grassy field, low hills surrounding her. On top of a few hills were old windmills, steadily spinning in the breeze.]

Alisa: (scanning her surroundings) Arrival confirmed. Temperature: 13 degrees Celsius. (Alisa swivels her body around towards a young girl in the distance) Life-form detected. My presence is acknowledged.

[The young girl was skipping lightly, almost as if she was floating, towards Alisa. She wore a short, white top, with a tiny, green waistcoat, and baggy white trousers. She wore a floppy hat on her head, on top of her dark, pigtailed hair. She held two 'tonfas' in her hands.]

Talim: (calmly) The wind… sensed that you were here. Welcome… to the Village of the Wind. You must be… Miss Alisa.

Alisa: (whispering to herself) Engaging human speech function. (Alisa whirred for a second, and then blinked. A smile formed from her face.) Hello, what is your name?

Talim: (in her high spiritual voice) My name… is Talim. Mr Heihachi… told me about your visit. We apparently… need to travel back… to your dimension.

Alisa: (smiling) I think we shall get on well. Argh! (Alisa's head whizzes around, and her voice returns to its robotic state) My communication system has malfunctioned temporarily.

Talim: Yes… Mr Heihachi… told me that we were paired together… for a reason. (her smile faded into a slight frown) I'm not too sure… what that could mean… hehe…

[Meanwhile, Raven arrives inside of a giant clock tower, enormous cogs slowly revolving around him, whilst he stood on the stone centre, which was swarming with mice.]

Raven: Objective completed. (He stepped forward, only to step on a mouse's tail) Charming.

[Suddenly, a massive cog fell from the side of the clock tower, rolling straight towards him. Raven rapidly dives away from it, cursing under his breath.]

Zasalamel: (deeply) Aha, sorry, the cogs are a bit faulty. And you owe Squeaky compensation. (strokes the injured mouse)

Raven: (whilst shaking the dust off of his uniform) Who are you? And why are there so many mice?

Zasalamel: (raising an eyebrow as if it was obvious) I own a mice farm. And the name's Zasalamel. And you?

Raven: Classified.

Zasalamel: It's Raven, isn't it?

Raven: (screaming at the ceiling of the tower) GODDAMMIT! How would you know? You aren't even from my world!

Zasalamel: (shrugs) I'm psychic.

Raven: People really need to teach me how to do that. (lowers his head)

Zasalamel: (patting him on the back) If you are a master at 'Guess Who', you are a master at everything.

[Yoshimistu entered the portal to find himself on a puddle ridden path, lined with murky trees. A finger tapped him on the shoulder, before Yoshimistu turned to face him. His jaw would have dropped if he wasn't wearing a mask.]

Yoshimistu: You… look like me!

Yoshimistu: One is aware of that. And thou hast same name as I. Hence, one has made different names for thou and I. Thy shall be Tekkimistu, and one shall be Soulshimistu. Therefore, thou shall not bamboozle thy names.

Tekkimistu: Alright… I understand… (even though he probably didn't)

Soulshimistu: (nodding) Now repeat. Namu!

Tekkimistu: What?

Soulshimistu: (growling) Repeat! If thou is truly a Manji warrior, thy shall be aware of this word!

Tekkimistu: (reluctantly) Namu.

Soulshimistu: (furious) No-no-no-no. Thou ist saying it all wrong! It's NAMU not NA-MOO!

Tekkimistu: (groans) Namu…

[During the Yoshimistus' banter, Julia and Hwoarang arrive at Halcyon Harbour. The strong scent of salt hit their faces almost immediately. The sun was just about setting over the horizon, and two people, a young woman, and a teenage boy, sat on the edge of the wrecked ship.]

Yun-Seong: (begging) C'mon Mina… we have been waiting here for hours and they still haven't shown up. I need adventure… let me live my life!

Seong Mi-na: (rolling her eyes at him, her arms crossed) Look, just because you can't jump into the sea, doesn't mean your social life is over.

[Julia approaches them casually, followed by Hwoarang. Seong Mi-na realises this, circling around to greet them.]

Julia: (politely) Hi, you must be our partners, right?

Seong Mi-na: (smiling broadly) Yep. You must be Julia and Hwoarang.

Hwoarang: You pronounced my name right! (his eyes were sparkling with pride)

Yun-Seong: (shrugging boastfully) Well, we are Korean after all. The name's Yun-Seong. (he held his hand out to Hwoarang, who happily shook it.)

Seong Mi-na: I'm Seong Mi-na, but you can just call me Mina. We need to go… (looks around, whilst picking up her weapon, noticing that the door frame had somehow ended up in the sea) Yun!

Yun-Seong: What? It wasn't me… (he couldn't help but smirk)

Julia: How do we get off of this thing?

[Yun-Seong grins maliciously. Sighing, Seong Mi-na points to the edge of the ship, rolling her eyes, which made both Julia and herself laugh. Yun-Seong and Hwoarang both shot each other a daring look, before hurdling themselves off of the ship.]

[Eddy reaches the end of his portal, his bare feet sinking in black, oozing liquid. A growl was heard, and then seconds later, a lizard the size of him appeared from underneath the slime, wielding a small hatchet and a shield.]

Eddy: Are you kidding me? All of my coolness and grooviness was worth a… lizardman?

Lizardman: Grr… growl… hiss… (I would say the same to you, mummy's boy.)

Eddy: Why not… Alex? Why me!

Lizardman: Growl… hiss hiss… (Why not your face? Bitch…)

[Steve literally falls into his area as the portal was attached to the ceiling. However, his fall was cushioned by thousands of tiny golden pieces.]

Steve: (feeling his chest, for breakages) I'm alive! And… (looks around him, his eyes gleaming) I'm rich!

[Steve immediately falls backwards, closing his eyes and waving his arms and legs about, as if he were making 'money angels'. A hiss interrupted his sudden joyousness. Opening his eyes again, he found a man, with leather criss-crossed over his face, millimetres away from his.]

Steve: (screaming in a high pitched voice) AAH! What the hell are you doing? (Steve escaped and distanced himself to a corner in a matter of split seconds, trembling in pure fear. He just realised what this strange man was wearing… or not wearing… and screamed even more)

Voldo: Hiss…hiss hiss… (At least I'm wearing some clothes. And protection.)

Steve: (screaming) Why are you wearing armour in the wrong places? And barely anything everywhere else?

Voldo: Hiss hiss hiss… hiss… (If you get kicked in the crotch, you'll be sorry. And I got the style off of Ivy. She got loads of attention for it, so why can't I?)

Steve: (shedding an un-manly tear) I want to go home…

[Voldo hisses, leaping onto a wall, crawling up it until he reached the ceiling. He reached the portal effortlessly, to the surprise of Steve]

Steve: (trying to be a tiny bit threatening) If you are an ancestor of Spiderman, I'm officially going to kill myself. Yeah…

[Meanwhile, Christie arrives in a beautiful garden, stonework under her feet, like marble, godly looking statues arranged in rows. Exotic plants were hanging from the stone beams above her, water flowing like a stream from the sides of the stone platform she stood on. Christie wondered about, a particularly large busted statue catching her eye. She tried to pose like it, only to receive a laugh from behind her. Turning around, Christie's jaw dropped.]

Christie: (gob-smacked) J…Jun Kazama?

Jun: (smiling warmly) Hi Christie.

Christie: What… are you doing here? Everyone thought you were dead!

Jun: (sighs) Look, I was taking a break from fighting all together, let alone joining the Iron Fist tournament again. I'm taking part in the Expo for fun.

Christie: What about the Tekken Tag Tournament 2? Aren't you taking part in that? Your name is on the list.

Jun: Yes, I thought that would be fun. Plus, it is non-canon, so it doesn't technically count. (giggles to herself)

Christie: (utterly confused) What do you mean 'non canon'?

Jun: Never mind. *Am I the only one who knows anything?*

[Two ladies were seen climbing the stone staircase up to the gardens. One wore a white, silky dress, with her golden blonde hair tied in a thick plait; the other wore a long, blue jacket, and long white boots and gloves, her short, light blonde hair tied in a ponytail with a black bow.]

Jun: Look, these must be our partners.

Christie: (in protest) But…

Jun: (silencing her) We will talk later. (to the ladies, who had arrived.) Hello, I'm Jun Kazama.

Sophitia: Hello, I'm Sophitia Alexandra. And this is my younger sister, Cassandra Alexandra.

Christie: Hi, I'm Christie Monteiro.

Sophitia: That's great. (to Christie) Heihachi told me that I was to be paired with Jun, so my sister will be your partner.

[Asuka and Paul stumble over each other into their chosen area. They landed on a large, outdoor training area, with a Oriental style roof and pillars spread widely around the edge. They stood in front of a grand villa, decked with glowing lanterns, whilst behind them, far into the distance, was a river, the stars reflecting on the water, and a cherry blossom orchard, swaying gently in the night's breeze.]

Asuka: (looking into the distance with tears in her eyes) It's beautiful…

Paul: (bluntly) Bitch, please. (shrugging his vast shoulders and crossing his arms) It's just Japan in the 16th century. It's not like you haven't seen this crap before.

Asuka: (huffing) I know… it's just this particular place is amazing! (smiling broadly)

[The moment was interrupted by a crash of some pottery inside of the villa. Asuka and Paul rush into the building to find a Japanese man with baggy trousers and no top, armour covering his left shoulder, his back to the wall, and china shards around his feet. A blonde woman in a kimono stood on the other side of the room, with a large vase in the one hand, held behind her, ready to throw it at the man.]

Setsuka: (furious) Why? Why did you kill him?

Mitsurugi: (shrugging) He was just another opponent who lost. Why should I feel sympathy towards him and not the thousand of other failures?

Setsuka: (screaming) My master is not a failure! (She hurls the vase she had in her hand at him, which lands at his feet again.)

Mitsurugi: That throw probably was though. (sniggers to herself)

Setsuka: (growling) I swear to God Mitsurugi… if I didn't sign that five thousand page contract forbidding me to kill you during this bloody Expo… I would so kill you right now.

Mitsurugi: (cockily) Yeah… good luck with that…

Asuka: *Ahem*? We are here you know! (Being the peace maker like her aunt poses well in most cases)

Setsuka: Ah… sorry. You must be Asuka. Funny that, because my name is Setsuka.

Asuka: (smiling) Setsuka and Asuka…! Wow, that's awesome!

Mitsurugi: (sarcastically) Do you have a name that rhymes with Mitsurugi, by any chance?

Paul: (honestly) Nah, sorry, the name's Paul. Do you have a nickname that rhymes with Paul?

Mitsurugi: (thinking hard) I don't think any name rhymes with Paul, let alone a shorter version of Mitsurugi.

Paul: (thinking hard too) Good point.

[Jin and Xiaoyu arrive at 'The Hall of the Warrior God', what seems to be a small training area, dotted with bronze dragons and tapestries. In the room were a young man and woman; the man wore a dark blue suit with golden embroidery, He was practicing rod combat on the one side of the room. His brown hair was shielding his view of the woman. The young, almost girl looking woman sat against a wall, looking mildly bored.]

Xianghua: Oh, come on Kilik, don't you want to stop? This is getting boring…

Kilik: Xianghua, I've told you a thousand times, I must train myself.

Xianghua: (sighing) Don't you get bored of training? Why don't you take a break, and… come for a walk with me?

Kilik: (not taking much notice of what she had said) Hm… maybe later.

Xianghua: (leaning her head against the wall, defeated) You're hopeless.

Xiaoyu: (watching their conversation, Xiaoyu broadly smiled) Hiya!

Xianghua: (leaping up, smiling back) Hi, you must be Ling Xiaoyu! I'm Chai Xianghua! (skips towards Xiaoyu, sticking her hand out to her)

Xiaoyu: Ohmigod, I know how you feel! (drags Xianghua away from Jin and Kilik) You know, about him. (tilts her head in Kilik's direction)

Xianghua: Really? I've tried to drop loads of hints to Kilik, but he doesn't seem to notice me at all. All he cares about is training.

Xiaoyu: Same here! I've tried talking to Jin, but he seems to be in his own world all the time, and doesn't listen to me!

Xianghua: Yay, I finally found someone like me! (jumps up and down on the spot in happiness, followed by Xiaoyu)

Xiaoyu: At least you understand! (both of them squeal in a whisper, whilst Jin and Kilik blankly stare at them.)

Jin: (candidly) What the hell.

Kilik: Don't ask. (to Jin) Does she stalk you as well?

Jin: Yep. We are friends and all; its just she can't really get the hint that I don't like her in that way. If you get what I mean.

Kilik: I completely understand. Xianghua is my travel companion; I just can't be in a relationship with her. She would ask me countless times, but I had to reject them all. My past has been unforgivable.

Jin: (sighs with relief) Finally, someone who understands me! (They both chuckle mutedly)

[Lee, Lars, Lili and Kazuya fall into the front gate of the castle, the moat directly behind them. On a raft, sitting down, were Zafina, and a red and green suited girl, donning uneven pigtails and a long plait in one hairstyle. Around her, was a bladed hoop.]

Kazuya: …the hell is Zafina is doing here? She didn't come with us!

Lili: (thinking back to the Tekken hall) Didn't she have her own portal?

Lee: We had to squish into one portal and she got her own! That's absolute bullshit! (matter of factly) I'm suing Heihachi.

Kazuya: (sarcastically) It's father to you.

Lee: You're the one to talk, daddy's boy.

Kazuya: I bloody disowned myself!

Lars: (calmly, trying to break up the fight) Please, stop arguing over father.

Kazuya: 'Father' is an effing pimp! You are more or less my son's age!

Lee: I thought you disowned your kid?

Kazuya: (almost disappointedly) He disowned himself.

Lili: (rolls eyes) Well, doesn't THAT sound familiar.

[Lars and Lee burst into hysterical laughter, high fiving her at the same time.]

Lee: That was absolutely EXCELLENT! (laughs some more until he starts to wheeze) Let's… go to the throne room… Lili.

[Lili, satisfied with her comical genius, accepts, leading the way, followed by Lee. Lars, still chuckling to himself, walks into the castle, leaving a fuming Kazuya burning with rage.]

[After walking for quite a while down the corridors, Lee and Lili split away from Lars, as he had found the hall, whilst Lee and Lili had found the throne room. Inside the grand throne room were a sophisticated looking man and a young, gothic girl.]

Lee: Hello there. (The two people in the room had turned around in their presence) I'm Lee Chaolan. Who might you two charming people be?

Raphael: Raphael Sorel. Expert swordsman and aristocrat.

Lee: You are an aristocrat too? Excellent. We shall get on nicely. Who is that lovely woman I would have the pleasure speaking to?

Raphael: (slightly offended) That's my foster daughter.

Lee: (rather taken back) God, I'm sorry.

Raphael: Apology accepted, dear man. I was just about to compliment your daughter as well. (smiles sinisterly, to the bewilderment of Lee)

Lee: Daughter…? You think we… are… (points two fingers at Lili and himself, before bursting into laughter) Lili! He thinks we are father and daughter!

Lili: (her eyes widening) What? (she laughs herself) We are no way related! Whatsoever!

Lee: (immediately stopped laughing and putting his hand on his hip) Saying that, practically everyone is related in Tekken.

Lili: Ugh, thank god my father is still alive. I don't want you adopting me.

Lee: (highly offended, stuttering in disbelief) I would be a good father!

Lili: Pfft, whatever. (rolls her eyes, whilst walking over to the young girl) Hi, I'm Emilie de Rochefort. But everyone knows me as Lili.

Amy: (quietly) Amy Sorel. You're French?

Lili: Yep, I'm from Monaco. Are you French too? (Amy nods) It's probably where we got our fashion sense from. (looks down at each other's dresses, which were both ruffled, and they were both wearing chunky boots, except Lili's attire was white, and Amy's dark purple.) Lolita?

Amy: (Amy nods again) I try to contrast my hair colour with my clothes, but my hair is much too bright. (Amy pulls one of her curly, auburn pigtails, and sighs)

Lili: Do they not have hair dye here? (Amy says nothing, looking puzzled) Ohmigod. You don't know what hair dye is? (Amy shakes her head) In our dimension, we can change our hair colour by using… well… I don't know how to describe the stuff, but it's really easy to apply. (flicks through her phone, which has surprisingly good reception and Wi-Fi connection) What colour do you want it?

Amy: (looks around the room and touches the back of Lili's phone) Pure black. Like night…

Lili: (looking at the back of her BlackBerry and nods.) When we get back, I will dye your hair for you.

Amy: (her eyes sparkling) You would do that?

Lili: Of course! (hugs Amy briefly, before marching off towards the door followed by Amy) C'mon Amy. Lee, we're leaving already! (Sighing, Lee and Raphael follow)

[Lars gazes blankly at the inside of the hall, observing some artwork, until a man dressed head to toe in silvery armour waltzed in, surprisingly gracefully, with a dark blue cloak draped behind him. Lars nods in approval]

Lars: It's good to see I'm paired with someone with calibre. *mysterious voices laughs hysterically* (in his head) Ha-ha, very amusing.

Siegfried: Why, thank you. I haven't had anyone compliment me since the whole Nightmare tragedy. My name is Siegfried Schtauffen.

Lars: I'm Lars Alexandersson. You don't happen to be of Swedish descent?

Siegfried: (shakes his head) Unfortunately, no. I am German.

Lars: (nodding) Fair enough.


	3. The Switch

_A/N: Hello! I'm here with another chapter of Tekken Calibur, after long awaiting, soorrry! Anyways, this is just explaining what is happening, and I'm linking characters together now, so see some Tekken and Soul Calibur characters interact in groups this time! Until next time I update this particular comedy fanfic, enjoy!_

Chapter 3: The Switch

[Everyone had returned from their portals with their partners. Alisa with Talim, Hwoarang with Yun-Seong, Julia with Seong Mi-na, Tekkimistu with Soulshimistu, Paul with Mitsurugi, Asuka with Setsuka, Raven with Zasalamel, Jin with Kilik, Xiaoyu with Xianghua, Jun with Sophitia, Christie with Cassandra, Eddy with Lizardman, and Steve with Voldo.]

[Also stepping out of their portals were Law with Maxi, a nunchaku wielding man who looks very similar to Elvis, Zafina with her strange, emo looking partner, Tira, Marduk with a man very similar and as hairy as him, Rock, Nina with who seemed to be a female ninja, Taki, Anna with a very revealing woman with short white hair, Ivy, and Leo with Hilde, a German girl who dresses like a knight.]

[Lars, Siegfried, Lili, Amy, Lee and Raphael were the last to step out of their portal. However, Kazuya was missing, much to Heihachi's annoyance.]

Heihachi: (through his microphone) Where the hell is that pathetic excuse of a son?

[As if Heihachi summoned him just then, Kazuya emerged from the portal, followed by a ghastly looking knight, with dark blue armour, and a pink orb of light illuminating from where his stomach should be, wielding a fleshy looking sword almost the same height as him, an eye blinking from the centre of it at the terrified cast. The Tekken cast all screamed, whilst the Soul Calibur cast created uproar.]

Siegfried: (glaring at the Azure Knight in disgust, pointing his finger at him) YOU!

Kilik: You spread that malfestation across the world!

Seong Mi-na: You killed thousands of innocent people!

Ivy: You made me your servant…!

Zasalamel: You infected the future.

Sophitia: You cursed my children!

The Entire Soul Calibur Cast: (pointing at his sword) YOU STILL HAVE SOUL EDGE!

Kazuya: This is exactly why I was paired with him. (grins sinisterly)

[The Soul Calibur cast begin to charge at Kazuya and Nightmare, until a familiar voice stopped them]

Heihachi: ENOUGH OF THIS! (now entering the room) OR DO I NEED TO SHOW YOU WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU DON'T ABIDE BY THE CONTRACT?

[Everyone immediately fell silent. Heihachi smiles in satisfaction.]

Heihachi: Thank you. Now, let me introduce you to MY partner. (Another man walks through the door. He was wearing pirate attire, and he had long, white hair, and an almost purplish skin tone. The Soul Calibur cast gasped simultaneously.)

The Entire Soul Calibur Cast: CERVANTES!

Cervantes: Ya don't say.

Taki: Aren't you dead yet?

Cervantes: Do I look dead?

Lili: (whilst filing her nails) Actually, yes, you do.

Maxi: You are getting a bit old though Cervantes.

Law: It's was the same thing with Jinpachi. Wasn't that right, Kazuya?

Kazuya: (chuckling at the thought of it) All you have to do is punch his face. He will turn to dust.

Jin: (mumbling to himself) Personally, I would have literally squished his head.

Ivy: (cracking her knuckles) Can I do the honours…?

Heihachi: Look, NOBODY is killing ANYONE in this convention! GOT IT?

Asuka: Well… that was mildly out of character…

Paul: Mildly?

Heihachi: Let me at least explain what's happening for the devil's sake.

Jin: (whilst holding his head with the one hand in pain) Ow…

Nina: Oh, for crying out loud, Jin, this isn't freaking Harry Potter.

Xiaoyu: I CALL DIBS ON GINNY! (grins victoriously)

Hwoarang: Damnit, do I have to be Ron?

Julia: Please don't say I'm Hermione…

Heihachi: OI! PROFESSOR DUMBLEDORE SPEAKING HERE! (hall falls silent yet again) Thank you. Now, you lot have a day to get to know about each other's lives… before you will be swapped!

Everyone Except Heihachi: WHAT?

Heihachi: That's right. After the party I will be hosting here, your partner will have to live your life for you! So you best get to know each other quickly… it's already two o' clock…

[Everyone panics, rushing out of the building, leaving Cervantes and Heihachi alone.]

Heihachi: I hope they pay me enough money for this.

Cervantes: Will all of this be really made into a Soul Calibur X Tekken Crossover comedy film?

Heihachi: Well, they say that they might make another film, or they could be making a 3D virtual fighting game for games consoles across the globe. Depends how much money I get.

Cervantes: (rubs his hands together in an evil manner) What are we calling this?

Heihachi: Tekken Calibur… The Switch!

[The two deranged pensioners laugh maliciously for half an hour, wasting their valuable time]

[Meanwhile, everyone is out of the convention hall and scattering off into different directions. A large amount of these were heading towards the nearest shopping centre, with Jin, Xiaoyu, Kilik, Xianghua, Julia, Hwoarang, Yun-Seong and Seong Mi-na being amongst them.]

Xiaoyu: (whilst sticking her index finger in the air in a 'teaching' manner) If you are going to live my life for me, Xianghua, you will have to look like me too!

Xianghua: (grinning broadly) I was going to say exactly the same thing!

Xiaoyu: Oh, Xianghua, there is one more thing. I trust my life on you to look after Panda.

Xianghua: (her eyes sparkling) You have a pet panda? Wow…! That is SO COOL!

[Jin and Kilik watch the two chatty girls from a distance. A large distance.]

Kilik: (breaking the silence) So… will your life be hard to live?

Jin: Well, you will gain full control of the Mishima Zaibatsu, have the Devil constantly trying to destroy you from the inside, and have people trying to kill you every five minutes.

Kilik: (shrugging) It's not too bad I suppose. I already have my own evil burdening me.

Jin: (quite shocked) You… do?

Kilik: Yes. But Dvapara-Yuga is keeping it at bay. (twiddles at the blue shard around his neck) It controls my sanity.

Jin: So… a necklace is completely controlling the evil inside of you.

Kilik: (nodding) Yeah.

Jin: (still in disbelief) The necklace.

Kilik: (certainly) Yeah.

Jin: …Can you buy one?

[Meanwhile, Asuka and Setsuka arrived at Asuka's house. Setsuka flopped onto Asuka's bed whilst Asuka was searching for clothes in her wardrobe.]

Setsuka: Do you have a kimono?

Asuka: Well… I do have one. I don't wear it often though.

Setsuka: Go on, show me. (Asuka pulls out her black and white kimono) That's perfect. You can wear that when we swap.

Asuka: (taken back) I thought this was for you to wear..?

Setsuka: No, you have to blend in. Besides, I have the perfect parasol which matches it. Flames and all!

Asuka: (nodding approvingly) Hmm… alright then.

[Meanwhile, Xianghua and Xiaoyu were skipping into 'Kawaii Town'. They shuffled through racks of clothes until they both squealed]

Xianghua: Look what I've found, Xiao! (holds up light blue and white dress similar to Xiaoyu's)

Xiaoyu: And look what I found, Xian-Xian! (reveals a hot pink cardigan, and white and pink top and shorts resembling Xianghua's attire)

[Both of them rush into the changing room, and reveal their new style in three seconds flat. Xiaoyu is dressed in exactly the same clothes as before, except that they are turquoise, and she wore her signature wristbands, matching in colour. She wore her hair in two small bunches of hair, like Xianghua's, with tiny blue versions of her wristbands securing them, with the rest of her long hair tied back in a low ponytail. Xianghua, on the other hand, was dressed in a white top with a pink trim, matching shorts, and a frilly, hot pink cardigan, almost the same length as her previous one. Her hairstyle remained the same, with the exception of Xiaoyu style hair-bands holding them in place. Both of them gasped at the sight of each other.]

Xiaoyu: You… look amazing!

Xianghua: So do you, Xiao!

[Xiaoyu and Xianghua giggle uncontrollably whilst Jin and Kilik very reluctantly stroll into 'Kawaii Town']

Kilik: (raising and eyebrow) Is Xiaoyu always like this?

Jin: Yep.

Kilik: Should I try and blend in?

Jin: You can wear some of my clothes that I don't wear. I have these clothes which you may like at home.

Kilik: Sounds good. As for your attire, you can wear your usual combat clothing.

Jin: Trousers, gloves and no top?

Kilik: Works for me.

[Meanwhile, Julia, Hwoarang, Seong Mi-na and Yun-Seong are wandering around on the second floor.]

Julia: Mina and I are just going to shop; you guys do whatever men do, ok?

Hwoarang: (shrugs dismissively) K then.

[Julia and Mina glide into 'Jade' whilst the two Korean redheads sat down on a bench]

Hwoarang: You can wear anything with jeans and leather. None of this bandana business. (flops his hands over Yun-Seong's bandana)

Yun-Seong: (snorts sarcastically) I was going to say the same thing about your goggle thingies. I don't want to be represented by a fish.

Hwoarang: (smiles) Touché, touché.

[Fifteen minutes later, Julia and Seong Mi-na stroll out of the shops in their new attire. Julia was dressed in the same, olive green top she wore before, and a blue headband with a printed orange sunflower and an olive green feather sticking out from it, whilst she wore a sash style denim skirt, which was tied like Seong Mi-na's. Mina was wearing a short, tight pencil skirt, which bared a green and light pink floral design, and wore a white and leaf green top, which was fairly low cut and short sleeved, emblazoned with a small, pink bow in the centre, her white head band now criss-crossed with Aztec style patterns in dark green. Julia's hairstyle had altered from two braids into one, whilst Mina's was vice versa. Both Korean men whistled.]

Hwoarang: Damn, Julia, you look good in Korean clothing.

[Julia marches over to Hwoarang, before delivering a smack to his face.]

Julia: That's for being a pervert! (links arms with Mina) C'mon Mina, let's go elsewhere.

Seong Mi-na: Agreed.

[Meanwhile, Jun, Sophitia, Cassandra and Christie are eating at the nearby Starbuck's Coffee. The four all looked fairly odd amongst the business men and women on their lunch break, especially in their attire.]

Jun: There is nothing like a soothing mug of coffee. (sips latte in which Christie ordered for her)

Christie: There's no point panicking about clothes and everything. I mean, we practically have the same fashion sense anyways.

Cassandra: (referring to the shortage of fabric on both Christie's and her chest areas) At least on the right lines. (towards Jun) You and my sister are a perfect tag team!

Sophitia: Well, I suppose the kind hearted tend to wear more white. And I guess both of us like to wear white dresses. (She giggles quietly, before taking a sip of her hot chocolate)

[Christie glances outside the café window, to find two red-headed men sauntering past the rows of shops, looking fairly bored. On the other side, she spotted another pair of men, both dark haired, and mildly depressed-looking. One of these sported a peculiar hairstyle which flops over his face at the front, and is spiked into a point on the back.]

Christie: (predicting the inevitable) Oh shit.

Jun: (using her mild psychic powers, had already sensed what is happening) By the love of my animals, is that my son?

Cassandra: (glancing between Jun and Jin from a distance) You two have the same fringe!

[Jun was already out of the door in attempt to stop Jin from even noticing Hwoarang. Sophitia, being a mother herself, decided to help her out, and excused herself from the table, daintily following in Jun's footsteps.]


End file.
